Tech News . . . May, 1997Tech News . . . May, 1997WWW edition of the newsletter sent to Technical Section Members.
Tech News Editors: Trish Botsko and Teri Kazama.
DEAR HARDCORE:
What are the "Darwin Awards"?
-Just Curious
Dear Just Curious:
The Darwin Awards honor the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Candidates often include rock climbers who refuse to wear helmets, climb on questionable gear, and any kind of ice climber. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
This year's nominee is JATO-man. Here's the story: The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes and extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long-straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!
The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within five seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, basically causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event.
However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, leaving a blackened crater three feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
by Tom Maceyka
I awoke to the familiar hum of the tires on the road, but something was wrong - I recognized the radio station as KOA 850. How could that be? We were supposed to be heading North to climb ice in Canada. Was I dreaming or what? And this confusion was not even alcohol induced. "Dave, where are we?" "Half way through Montana, why?" Whew... still heading North.
We finally arrived in Canmore, just outside of Banff National Park, after nearly 20 hours of nonstop driving. Dave Thompson, a well known Canadian ice climber, had been in Colorado a few weeks back on his Road Trip South and invited us to stay at his place. Dave Reeder and I had great hopes of completing some classics this year compared to three years ago when we came to the land of the North and found out where Arctic cold fronts start. The temperatures that year hovered near -20 below zero. Not much climbing, only sampling the 7% Molson Triple X's. Oh Canada!
Dave had worked hard all winter-was climbing hard ice and was seeking some more test pieces. He had done Bridal Veil Falls and the Fang twice among a number of others. It had been an unusual year in Canada as most of the ice had formed early and in fatter than normal conditions. Ice climbers like "fat" climbs. This was good news as we wanted to climb the infamous Terminator, which had finally touched down after a number of dry years. The Terminator, is a solid Grade 6 with four very long sustained pitches. Unfortunately, the rest of the world had the same idea. Arriving at the trail head at 5:00 am was too late. More than three cars means waiting all day until all the main climbs clear out. So we went to Whiteman Falls which was a flat 3 mile ski in for two good pitches of Grade 5 ice. Except for Dave nearly falling over backwards for 30 footer when the platform he was standing on collapsed, -hate when that happens, the day was great.
Moving farther west of Banff to the main Ice Fields Parkway, we stayed at a hostel with great accommodations for $8 per night. We couldn't believe it. The weather was nice, low avalanche conditions, good ice, good beer. What more could you ask for? That left one of the most famous ice climbs in the world open to us - Polar Circus. Almost 3000 ft of elevation gain and 8 pitches of ice combine for great climbing. We felt bad, but not too bad, when we aced out three climbers from France by getting started first. The last two pitches are the crux, at Grade 5+ and 6, and the descent has been fixed with bolts to help get you back before dark.
The rest of the week was filled with more classics such as Ice Nine, and the Lower to the Upper Weeping wall (8 pitches). An attempt was made at Kitty Hawk, but warm conditions and falling ice made us high tail it out. This was clearly Dave's year and Chapter 3 is already in the works. Oh Canada!!
by Mike Bechtol, Skagit Alpine Club
Skaha has had a fair amount of press in the nationwide climbing magazines lately, most of it fairly truthful. Yes, there exists a place in South Central B.C., one hour north of the U.S. border crossing at Osoyoos, where the sun always shines, it doesn't get too hot, and the rock is dead vertical gneiss with positive holds and well bolted (ie: not too many, not too few) bolts. Couple all this with a large complex of crags and not-so-many people and what do you have? Nirvana? Not quite, but it is Skaha.
Skaha is a relatively new climbing area, having seen most of its routes put up since the late `80's. Word has spread so fast, that by 1992, climbers have begun to show up in the area, prompted by word of mouth only. What they found has been a pleasantly situated treasure of crags (two pitches high at the most), all immediately adjacent to the Penticton city limits. Nestled within the beautiful Canadian Okanagon hill country, Penticton sits adjacent to Skaha Lake. While there was not an official climbers' campground at the time of our visit, Penticton is large enough (24,000 residents) to offer all the amenities of a small city, yet the drive to the crags is closer than the Flatirons are from Boulder.
Sans established campgrounds, we lived creatively. We "bathed" in Skaha lake by pretending to be swimmers, secretly scouring our bodies with handfuls of sand from the lake bottom. We camped every night just off a road in the hills several miles out of town, where there were a surprising amount of other VW buses chock full of climbers.
The climbing was excellent. The rock, being gneiss (a highly metamorphisized granite) was a delight to climb on, with steep flanks and a generous amount of positive holds. There were plenty of cracks but was also a profusion of finger ledges. All of this combined into a tantalizing array of crags in a quiet, semi-wilderness area just minutes from town, making for a sport climbing heaven. And the lack of crowds that we experienced only added to the fun (the way to tell where the five star climbs were was to try to look for worn belay stations at the base of the climbs--no waiting in line here!). Robb and I spent close to a week in Skaha and managed to climb these highly recommended gems: Double Exposure (5.8)--An exposed cracked ramp with plenty of bulges and awkward moves on a nice exposed climb. Gear lead. Assholes of August (5.10a)--A wonderfully sustained vertical crack, friendly enough for those who hate cracks. This crack sucks up gear. The Plumline (5.10a)--One of the climbing magazines called this the most perfect 5.10a in the world. From what I've seen so far in my life, it gets my vote. Dead vertical with positive holds, bring lots of quickdraws and head straight up up up. The Dream (5.9)--A short, yet beautiful, climb up a corner and roof system. A well protected gear lead.
A few caveats before you pack up the Vanagon--bring a 55m rope unless you like to Batman your rappels. Also, access is a big problem here; the climbing area itself is on B.C. Crown (ie: government) land but the increased climber traffic has worn thin the patience of the landowners who live on the residential streets which serve as the only access to the main parking area. As of last summer, rumors were flying that the entire area was at danger of being closed--check on the status before going.
All in all, Skaha has earned its place in my heart as my favorite climbing area (yes, over such West Coast meccas as Smith Rock and Squamish). The climbing is first rate, the scenery and amenities first class and the crowds--what crowds?
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Last Modified June 6, 1998 by Keith Jensen .