Tech News . . . November, 1997Tech News . . . November, 1997WWW edition of the newsletter sent to Technical Section Members.
Tech News Editors: Trish Botsko and Teri Kazama.
ELECTIONS
After a little arm-twisting and many campaign promises, the Team is in place for next year. Due to super secret coded messages, the Justice department cannot prove any fund raising calls were made from my house. Can't be too careful these days. Imagine having Janet Reno after you!
Chairman - Tom Maceyka (too dumb to say no)
Secretary/Treasurer - Bonnie Saunders (recently retired to Dillon as she only got in 100 days of skiing last year)
Program Coordinator - Still open. Volunteers??? This is not as bad as it sounds
Newsletter - Trish Botsko & Teri Kazama (also too dumb to say no)
BRCS - Nate Goldstein (returning champion, or too smart to surrender his primary means of meeting potential dates/mates?)
IRCS - Bob Reedy (new Bad Bob blood. Watch out!)
As you can see, a great group of folks have taken on the challenges to keep
the Tech Section active. To complete the activities, we need your
participation.
Thanks.
Dear Hardcore:
I'm confused by all the p.c.speak. Can't people just say what they mean? Can you help me?
- Eager to get it "right".
Dear Eager:
I'm a bit confused myself as to why folks just don't talk plain no mo'. But, I did some research in my handy-dandy not-so-common dictionary, and came up with an example that might help. Assume that you have two cows Here goes!
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them
in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The
government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and
puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken
farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the
chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the
regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
the government takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for
keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to
tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you
vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in
cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they
go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you
can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them.
After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down
the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing
cows.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or
your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law
at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so
that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a
Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells
the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual
report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad.
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking
or killing them.
FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies
they ever existed. Milk is banned.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership"
is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two
differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified
gender.
COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to
have some of this milk.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
by Mat Bozek
Well, it wasn't even close to a good weekend, being in the middle of the
monsoon weather we had this summer, but we did climb some each day. Bart
Caulkins showed up with his friend Bob ? (sorry, I forgot) the Anesthetist if
that's what it is, but we didn't get to see him anesthetize anybody. Did do a
couple of climbs with them "Water Streak" on Walt's Wall was one. Then Sue Day
and Tone Mercer showed up and I headed over to tie up with them at The Fall
Wall area. Did the usual climbs, except that I got rained off of "The 5.11
Crack". It rained long enough and was cloudy enough that we quit for the day
and headed to our campsite. By the way, the Vedauwoo area was closed off for
construction, and we had to walk in a half mile or so from the road. Looks like
they are going to expand the camping into the picnic area.
We just camped out in the meadows and were fine.
Until Sunday morning, which was cloudy/foggy/damp/cold. But we hung out and
persevered, and after a few hours, we had a window of opportunity. Bart and Bob
went off on their way back to Denver to find dry rock, but came back to do some
exploring. Sue, Tony and I went off to a rock I hadn't climbed on before
The Crystal Freeway. It's behind Turtle Rock kind of. Anyway, we wound up
behind Turtle Rock and had to tunnel our way through and around to the right
rock. But we did get there and got in one two pitch climb and one one pitch
climb before the thunder and approaching rain closed down our climbing. After
that, Sue hung out at the car while Tony and I rode our Mountain Bikes around
the trail which circles the picnic area. Did a little cowboying along the way
(you better watch out for the cowpies), and generally had pretty good time
considering the lousy weather.
Tune in again, same time same place, next year.
by Mat Bozek
The annual Oktoberfest trip to Turkey Rocks (Oct. 18 & 19) went off
exactly as planned. Since I didn't have to plan anything, how could I miss? As
usual, we lucked out with a good weekend. Good? It was great. The weekend
before it had snowed this weekend, it was beautifully clear and warm
probably upper seventies on Sat and sixties on Sun. Perfect climbing
weather and a group of 25 or 30 people took advantage of it to climb and party.
The Saturday night get together included the usual square dance and box supper
well, would you believe we all saw a wild turkey? Anyway, we all partied
in the tradition of Oktoberfest pasts.
Then of course, there was the climbing. I didn't get the lowdown on who did
what, but I do know that Bad Bob was bad, and got spanked for it. Bonny bled a
not inconsiderable amount (looked like a mountain lion had got her) from a
short fall against a very rough and sharp edge, and it was rumored that Nate
was once more ejected by a bit of brown sugar. But it's all in a day's fun. I
did get in a lot of climbing, and since I was climbing with my old buddy Rich,
we were the last ones down the hill both days. I got in two climbs on the
Perch, and 3 pitches on Turkey Rock on Saturday, and seven pitches at the Left
Overs on Sunday, doing a couple of climbs for only the second time there. The
Left Overs offer a getaway from the mostly overcrowded perch and offer many
nice lines. The last time I climbed Mellow Yellow was with Don Brandeberry and
Rob Jackson, so that was a few years ago. It was well worth repeating, as are
most of the routes at Turkey Rocks.
Anyway, if you weren't there, shame on you! You missed a great weekend.
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Last Modified June 6, 1998 by Keith Jensen .