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Trail & Timberline features

Ultimate Peru

Noatak River, Alaska

The Tumpline

Guargualla, Ecuador

featuring articles on the Wilderness Act

"Just the Facts, Ma'am" CMC Public Land Policy Director Vera Smith makes a plea for a deeper understanding of wilderness

Conservation Update

Myths & Facts about Wilderness

Volunteers further wilderness efforts

Colorado Wilderness Bills of 1999

Happy Anniversary, Baby. The Wilderness act turns 35. Is it grown up yet?

SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT

T&T departments:

Club news

Colorado Classics

Education

• Partnerships
• Mountain Discovery
• Strategic Planning

End of the Trail

Yesteryear

Here are some of the

“All time dumbest questions asked by Banff Park tourists,”

as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff

submitted by Gay Greenleaf

• How do the elk know they’re supposed to cross at the “Elk Crossing” signs?

• At what elevation does an elk become a moose?

• Tourist: “How do you pronounce  ‘Elk’?”

Park Information Staff: “ ‘Elk’ “

Tourist: “Oh.”

• Are the bears with collars tame?

• Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?

• Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?

• Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?

• I saw an animal on the way to Banff today—could you tell me what it was?

• Are there birds in Canada?

• Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?

• Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?

• Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?

• Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?

• If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?

• Which is the way to the Columbia ricefields?

• How far is Banff from Canada?

• What’s the best way to see Canada in a day?

• Do they search you at the B.C. border?

• When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?

• Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don’t they?

• Are there phones in Banff?

• So it’s eight kilometres away ... is that in miles?

• Where can I get my husband really, really, lost??

• Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?

• Don’t you Canadians know anything?

Editor’s note: this month’s issue of Trail & Timberline marks the debut of a humor column open to submissions by club members. If you have run across items that have made you smile or laugh out loud, please be sure to share them with other club members. Send submissions to Publications Manager, Trail & Timberline, 710-10th St., Suite 200, Golden, CO 80401. Or e-mail them to beckwt@cmc.org. Also, if you enjoy drawing cartoon illustrations, contact the Publications Manager about volunteering to illustrate the column.

THE ROYAL ROBBINS SHOW
"Climbs and Climbers I have known"
Saturday, Nov. 13 at 8 p.m.
in the Foss Auditorium, AMC in Golden

or

THE PETE ATHANS SHOW
"The Everest Millennium Show"
Thursday, December 16 at 7:30 p.m.
at the Paramount Theater, Denver

call the CMC at (303) 279-3080
for more information