Are You A Peak Bagger?

by William E. Sheets

How to tell if you or someone you know has Peak Bagging Syndrome.

The symptoms:

1. Denial - The person in question will often concoct half-baked excuses such as: "I'm not a peak bagger, I'm merely an avid outdoor person who likes to climb mountains. I can stop at any time." (Don't be fooled)
2. The List - All peakbaggers keep a notebook of some sort, which contains The List. The List records successful ascents, along with the date and elevation of each climb. Typically, the peak bagger will keep the notebook underneath the mattress or at the bottom of a sock drawer. Consistent with the denial symptom, they rarely refer to it as a "Peak Bagging List". They usually call it a "climbing log".
3. The Look - Peak baggers will usually have a far off look in their eyes, as though they are scanning the horizon for new climbing goals. They may seem aloof a great deal of the time.
4. The Walk - Peak baggers can sometimes be identified by the deliberate way they walk. They look as though they are hiking along the trail, even when they are just headed to the fridge. They also tend to wince in pain with every step during the summer months as a result of excessive wear and tear on their feet and/or knees.

While attempting to determine whether or not someone is a peak bagger, there are some other signs that you can look for. For instance, the peak bagger:

1. may mysteriously disappear from the city every weekend.
2. has really high mileage on the ol' 4WD.
3. buys hiking boots in May and needs new ones in July.
4. always seems to have a healthy tan. (Actually the term "healthy tan" is an oxymoron isn't it?)

Studies also indicate that 4 out of 5 peak baggers prefer trail mix and a water bottle over a spaghetti dinner with a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.

The cause of Peak Bagging Syndrome is not fully understood at this time. Perhaps it is the addictive result of exposure to intoxicating views, physical activity, and/or lack of sufficient oxygen to the brain. There is no know cure at the present time.

This article first appeared in the July 1995 issue of "Trails-n-Tales", the newsletter of the Younger Set.